Daddy's Little Girl?

I couldn't recall a time when I was younger when life wasn't revolved around fear. Dad was angry all the time, and though there were happy times at home, even at the earliest age of 5 I knew any form happiness couldn't possibly last long before his rage and temper strikes.
But my childhood wasn't all tragic, I had a roof over my head, I was well fed, and I went to school. I was not deprived of material needs, though whatever was given had to be taken care of and kept neatly. I remember it clearly when my sister and I had lost our watches at school and we were left to search for them at the primary school grounds till dusk.
Adoloscence wasn't easy for us either. Raging rebelious hormones had kept me motivated to leave home,verbal abuse can only take you to a certain tolerance level. Any child in the right mind wouldn't want to be called unimaginable, unspeakable things. But despite all that, nothing had held me back from pouring my love and admiration for him.
Now as I grow older, fear is now replaced with tiredness, dissapointments and calculated blow-ups. But in my head, I thank God, for I would not have become the person that I am now if it was not for him. I wouldnt' have done well in school , I would not have been accepted to a prestigous secondary school and graduated with a first class degree to impress him. I would not have had decent job if it was not for him, and my constant drive to become financially independant especially, to be free of him.
Recent run of events however surprised me. It was unexpected that 2 days ago, after the tiring expected drama and his typical rage attacks, with tears rolling down my cheeks I said to him, " Daddy, I only ask you to give me support, and nothing more." And he kept silent.
That day, truthfully, I couldnt have imagined that the risik had gone as smooth. Upstairs, keeping an open ear, I sobbed as I heard him say to Edd's parents who came, " I trust Adrin as so far she has made good choices in the past and she knows what she wants. All kids are unique and one of a kind, and I only have her and her sister." And then he gave his blessing.
At that moment, I realised that I am, will still be his little girl regardless.